It seems the past few years that besides my own, I have enjoyed helping others grow their families. While the very first surrogacy I did was a very, conscious decision (lots of discussion, self reflection and assessments…can I really do this? etc.) the second surrogacy journey came more natural. I just knew I was ready to help someone else.
In the meantime, though, I have been a stay at home mama. So many things went into that decision. But the main factor was definitely my kids’ school schedules. They’re enrolled in private schools that are nowhere near our home. Every morning we all jump in the car and start the journey to school right around 6:45am and I finally make my way home around 8:15-8:30 depending on traffic. In the afternoon I do the same between 3-5pm. I’m not complaining, I know that’s nothing compared to other people’s commutes. I love my children and we decided that these schools were what was best for them. We’ve all made our own little sacrifices. I keep myself busy at home while they’re at school and the kids have me available to annoy with stupid texts…”Mom, I forgot my gym clothes.” “Mom, my project is still in the car.” Yep, I asked them before they left the house, exited the car, etc if they had remembered all that crap. And how are you texting me right now, shouldn’t you be in class…?
But seriously, it works for my family at the moment. I have gone to school full time and even ran my own business with this schedule. I’m a bit of a control freak and you throw something in to disrupt my carefully planned day and this lady is very annoyed. Trust me, my family is better off with a calm mama. LOL But I digress…
I promised babies, right? Well, I’ve decided to do one last surrogacy pregnancy. Nope, you’re not going to talk me out of it so don’t even bother. I’m not obsessed, in need of the money, crazy or any of the other negative things you might be thinking. As I mentioned before, while the very first surrogacy required much more introspection, it’s now become natural. So while I’m not obsessed with pregnancy (well, you gotta like it, right?) I am obsessed with helping people grow their families. I’ve begun the process of another surrogacy journey and will be off to California next month for medical screenings. I realize that for some of you it’s no surprise and I thank you so very much for your support.
“But that’s just baby…what’s up with the babies you promised us, huh?” Bet you didn’t realize I could read your mind. Well, I did promise some more babies. Knocking about my head the past couple of years has been the idea of becoming a doula. I’m a licensed massage therapist and I love it. When the kids are a bit older (and I got at least one of them driving) I was planning on going back to doing that full time. However, in the back of my head I knew I needed more. One of my instructors in massage school was a doula and as part of our training we had to do prenatal massage. I thought I’d hate it, I really did. But I didn’t and I was somewhat of a natural. Working with a pregnant client is so very different. During my internship I requested and was sent any and all pregnant ladies that had appointments during my shift.
Then doula got stuck back there in my head. Fast forward to my pregnancy with the twins and I had a doula to help me as I really wanted a vaginal delivery with the boys. Even though the little guys had other plans and I ended up with a c-section, my doula was a wonderful support for me at a time when I was terrified and beating myself up. She was such an important part of that experience for me.
So that leads to today…I’ve decided that I want to be a doula. It was always there but I needed time to process whether I was really up for such an awesome and amazing experience. I remember being with my sister a few years ago during my niece’s birth. I flew from Portugal (where I was living at the time) to San Antonio specifically to be there with her. She had my two nephews and there was no way I was going to allow her to be alone. I was by her side during her c-section and then during her recovery I was in the postpartum room guarding my beautiful brand new baby niece from those horrible nurses who kept trying to put a bottle in her mouth (total tongue in cheek, but true ). My sister’s explicit instruction…do not let them give her a bottle. She was going to breastfeed her. When I retell the story in person, though, you’d think that I was the one who performed the c-section. LOL
As you can see it’s always been there, that desire and need to be a doula. It’s just never really been expressed out loud. But now here I am, ready to embark on a new journey in my life and I am so excited. I cannot wait to get started.