Since my last post I’ve had two ultrasounds confirming wonderful news for my IF (intended father)…I am pregnant with twins. Two beautiful little beans growing nice and strong with great heart rates. I could not be happier for him.
I’m extremely excited for him as well. But with that excitement comes cold hard reality…nausea and fatigue. It sucks. With my past four pregnancies I’ve dealt with them at various degrees but I am telling you right now this twin pregnancy is a completely different animal. Am I complaining? Nope, just telling it like it is for a couple of reasons. To educate and to share as a means of support for others who will or are experiencing the same. While I know I’m very lucky to be able to experience the joys of pregnancy and surrogacy, to be able to bring a life into this world, I also believe it’s very important to share the not so pretty (don’t worry, no birthing pictures here LOL). This so we can all share and see “it’s perfectly normal” to feel like absolute dog poo at times.
Nausea started right around five weeks with this pregnancy and it’s been nonstop ever since. There isn’t any point in my waking day I’m not overcome by it. I’ve never succumbed to it quite so early with my singleton pregnancies and had a feeling when I began to experience it with this one that the news was twins. The absolute worst of it is on a completely empty stomach. So even though I do not feel like eating, I need to keep something in my belly so it’s not as bad (but it’s still pretty freakin’ bad). The other night I was sitting on the couch snacking, feeling like crap and my husband turned to me and said “It looks like you’re forcing yourself to eat that.” I was. But trust me, a belly with food in it is so much better than an empty one. They both suck, but one is definitely better.
Throw in the fatigue and I am a walking zombie. I’m not talking just a little bit tired, I’m speaking of full blown extreme fatigue. I NEED to nap at least once a day and I need to lay down or be “relaxing” for the better part of the day. I am so very lucky that on any given weekday the only two things I must do are pick up and drop off the children to and from school. Truthfully, I am so glad that I am not working out of the home at the moment. Would I be able to work? Of course. Would I be be doing a good job at it? Hell no. I can barely think or talk in complete sentences most times. LOL Seriously, it’s pure gibberish most times.
I’m eight weeks pregnant and I keep hoping that this pregnancy (aside from the fact that it’s twins) is as textbook as my others have been. For me that means with the second trimester comes relief from these symptoms. That’s 5-6 weeks away and I really need to stop doing doing the math. It just makes me want to cry.
And then of course there’s my bleeding issues. You might remember me mentioning the fact that I had some bleeding a week after transfer. Well, it’s returned. Thankfully it’s not bad as bad as a subchorionic hematoma, more like a light period. It’s on and off now for the past weeks. Days will go by with nothing and then hello. We’ve checked during my ultrasounds for any source of the bleeding and there is none which is fantastic news. At the moment we’re thinking increased bloodflow to the uterus (I am on lovenox) is causing the occasional bleeding. While it’s good news that it seems to be nothing harmful, it’s still unnerving to see any bleeding during a pregnancy. However, because of this bleeding I’m asked to “take it easy”, no exercise, etc. Not that I’d have the energy to do much, but there’s something about restrictions that makes it suck a little more.
So those have been my days these past weeks. I’m really bad with returning phone calls and emails and all correspondence in general. I’m trapped in my home most days as I just can’t muster the energy to do most anything. I’ve come back to this post several times as it’s been exhausting trying to make a coherent thought. LOL The good thing about all this is we have two very healthy babies growing inside me right now. The nausea and fatigue will disappear in just a few short weeks. I have an amazing support system here at home, too. My oldest has really stepped up around the house with doing my chores. She’s earning herself something real nice when these babies are born.
So yes, even though I’m tired and nauseated to my core I am beyond excited and happy for my wonderful IF. He is going to be able to experience the joys of daddyhood with these two awesome little beans and everytime I think of it I get a big ol’ geeky smile on my face. And this makes all the yuckiness worth it. I just kind of wish I had a fast forward button…to get me to the second trimester a little bit quicker.