Last Tuesday I went in for my regular bloodwork and ultrasound appointment, the last screening to be done before I was to have my transfer. Everything looked great and merrily I skipped on about my day. Did some shopping, came home and ordered the last of my home pregnancy tests online, hit confirm order and my phone rings. No, seriously. That is exactly how it happened, at that exact moment. It was my agency calling to tell me that our cycle had been cancelled. Unfortunately the egg donor was not progressing as expected and at the recommendation of the doctor, we were cancelling this cycle.
Ugh, my day was instantly ruined. I don’t know why (I’d like to blame it on the a-a-a…sorry, just kidding…tons of estrogen in my body) but I suddenly felt like crying. Within the next hour I received the next call from the nurse to cease all meds. What? All my hard work, setting alarms to remember everything and now I have to start over. Was I really about to cry? Then it hit me. DAMN! I was being selfish and my IF (intended father) must feel even worse. Emails and texts were exchanged and I felt better as my IF was on top of this. Like ninja style “I got this!” The hunt was on for a new donor and since there was nothing else I could do, I needed to start looking at all the positives.
The extra month gives us the chance to push the delivery (pun intended ) into June and the kids will be out of school. This means we won’t have to make special arrangements for school pickups and dropoffs, if need be, when the time comes. I also get an extra month of intense workouts. Working out is my only real ME time (except when I’m on the toilet LOL) so I enjoy it immensely. Pregnancy means more tame sessions. And now my IF has found a great proven donor which we are super stoked about. Yay!! There’s some other positives in this, I know, just can’t think of more at the moment. LOL But never fear, I’ll be adding more to my list as the month progresses.
As crappy as I felt when I got that phone call and having to stop meds and start over, I know there are worse things we can experience in surrogacy and pregnancy in general. However, that doesn’t make this suck any less at the moment. I will continue to remind myself of those lovely positives I already listed, though. It’s surrogacy after all and we’re going to have these pesky little bumps along the way. All we can do is work past them.