I’m kind of in a limbo right now, waiting for the actual work to start in making this baby. As a surrogate, of course. Otherwise it’d be a little TMI. I give myself various projects and events throughout the year so that I can always have something to look forward to or work on to sort of break up the monotony of everyday life. Of course they are things that I enjoy and get all jazzed about and perhaps not necessarily things you may find all that interesting. I realize that as time gets closer to said event or completion of project, that I can very annoyingly make all topics of conversation somehow relate to said event going on in my life. And I thought to myself “Wow, that must be REALLY annoying to others.” But then I started to think of when my family and friends do it, and truthfully…it doesn’t bother me when they do it. I love it. I enjoy listening to these fascinating projects, events, etc and sometimes I even find myself living vicariously through them because what I’ve got going on in my life blows.
However, this did get me thinking on the topic of what I probably do to annoy those around me. The truth is, I really don’t care. I know that’s not the nice thing to say but the way I look at is if I annoy you, ignore me, unfriend me on facebook, avoid me when you see me out in public…whatever you need to do to not get annoyed by me, just do it. I’m okay with that. Unless you are a blood relative. Then you must deal with it, smile, nod your head and agree with me that what I’m doing is the coolest thing ever to happen in the existence of humankind.
But I thought it’d be nice to give you a heads up, cheat sheet, whatever you want to call it, of the things that may annoy you about me or might even…gasp…make you hate me. And just so you know, I did kind of steal this idea from Kelly whose blog “I’m Not the Mom, I’m Just the Stork“ is one of my absolute favorites. Her list is, however, titled “Why You May Want to Dump Me As Your Facebook Friend.” I dropped some of hers, added some of my own, tweaked here and there and made it my own. And just so you don’t hate me for doing this, LOL, she totally gave her readers permission to steal, tweak, and post as their own as well. Just so you know… (Never mind the fact that she is a MUCH better writer than me and a much more interesting person as well. )
1. “I have babies for Gay Men. If you have an issue with Surrogacy or Marvelous People who happen to be Gay . . . ” then I will annoy you and you just need to delete me off your favorites (’cause I know I’m in there :-P) or unfriend me on FB. I was very lucky to have had three beautiful children of my own with absolutely no troubles because of my heterosexual marriage and my amazing gift of being able to grow healthy babies in my uterus. It simultaneously breaks my heart and angers me that people actually think they can tell other people who they can sleep with and that their sexual orientation is not worthy of parenthood. So if for some reason you don’t agree with what I’m doing and the thought of it sickens you…fuck you and I don’t care to have you in my life. That’s all I gotta say about that…(a la Forrest Gump )
2. That led nicely into my next topic…I cuss. I cuss a lot. It’s absolutely ridiculous how many cuss words flow from my mouth on an hourly basis. I don’t do it to “be cool” (that’s actually laughable, heard that one before), to impress or shock anyone, to get a reaction of any sort from those around me, and it’s not a lack of intelligence or vocabulary. I actually have 5 years of post HS education (sadly with no degree but that’s another story ). Believe it or not, it’s not always about YOU (general you). It’s just a very, very bad habit of mine, almost like a tick. And yes, I do cuss in front of my mother and I do kiss her with this mouth, I have accidentally cussed in a church and a funeral or two, and I’m 34 years old and a grown ass women and the odds of this changing are very slim. Sorry, you’re just going to have to deal with it. It bugs the hell out of my husband and believe it or not, no my kids have not picked up on my nasty habit so that is not going to get me to change my evil ways. I just have a foul mouth, no reason behind it. I’m actually pretty good about not cussing as much in my writing, though. But honestly I think it has more to do with my laziness as if I wrote exactly how I thought there’d be about 20 cuss words peppered throughout this paragraph alone.
3. I am an equal opportunity meanie. I make fun of EVERYONE regardless of sex, religion, etc etc. And just to clear that one up just a bit more…I do not make fun of you because you are a Christian or just because you are Canadian (okay, maybe the Canadian one). I’m more of a “make fun of you because you did something really fucking stupid and I’m calling you out on it regardless of the fact that it may not be PC” kind of person. I also love to make fun of hypocrites and will tear them apart mercilessly so if you think everyone needs forgiveness and believe in “judge not lest ye be judged”…again, I don’t care. I’m not perfect I know that. But I also don’t go around telling others how to live their lives while secretly doing all those evil things I’m preaching against. So I will make fun of the homophobic preacher who got caught with his boyfriend at the airport and I will be very vocal about my disdain at drivers with handicapped plates who can’t go above 40 on a freakin’ highway. If your handicap makes you incapable of driving safely then don’t fucking drive. Okay…I’m done with that one.
4. I have three beautiful children and I will post pictures of them, cute stories about them, and I will post updates of our family website, etc. If this annoys you then too bad, that’s me. I love them, they are my life. I love, love looking at pictures of my friends’ and family’s kiddos. This includes my online friends, too. I love to see what other people do with their kiddos and I kind of get a glimpse into what those people were like when they were little. It also gives me ideas of what to do with my own kiddos when a certain situation arises or if I just need a new activity to entertain them. I also love to read your blogs so share them, don’t be shy. Because I will share and if you don’t like it…that’s okay. But I will annoy ya.
So that’s my heads up to you all. There are many, many more things that I’m sure annoy you about me (if you already know me in real life) or for those of us who are just getting acquainted you will probably find more things on your own. Just know I don’t start out my day looking to be a big ol’ meanie or wanting to offend. This is just who I am and being that I’m pretty damn old…things are just not going to change. So you can either learn to ignore whatever it is you don’t like or just write me off. If I’m sharing this with you either through facebook, or blog, or online forum, I’m doing it because there’s something about you that I think is pretty cool. So hopefully you won’t write me off so easily.